Going Pandemic Blonde

I like to say that I “went pandemic blonde.” When I couldn’t get my hair colored during the lockdown, I simply let the gray grow out.

According to research from Katie Goes Platinum, many women over the age of 60 have made a similar decision for a variety of reasons. About 24% said they no longer wanted to expose themselves to harsh chemicals. Another 20% wanted to avoid the expense of maintaining color. And a larger group, about 59% shared that they wanted to embrace their age and live a more natural lifestyle.

The survey revealed that women often cited multiple reasons for going gray, combining practicality with a deeper sense of self-acceptance. For me, it wasn’t just that salon visits were impossible during the pandemic; I also realized I didn’t want to keep putting chemicals in my body. And saving hundreds of dollars a year didn’t hurt either.

My experience out in the world, however, has been quite different from what I expected. Recently, I attended a social event with about ten women in their late 60s and early 70s. I was the only one with gray hair. The same thing happens on Zoom calls. I’m often one of just a handful of women over 60 who have gone natural.

Unfortunately, going gray can bring with it a frustrating dose of ageism. At a dinner I attended with my daughter, the woman next to me asked if I was her grandmother. Even though I had my daughter at 39, I felt indignant and, honestly, a little hurt that I was perceived that way. A friend told me she continues to color her hair dark for that very reason, she doesn’t want to face those assumptions.

Another colleague shared an upsetting story about being treated dismissively at her bank. When she tried to withdraw a large sum of money, the teller assumed she was being scammed, apparently because of her gray hair, and began speaking loudly to her, demanding to know why she needed the money. She was humiliated and had to ask for the manager. The funds, as it turned out, were to pay for construction on her new home.

There are moments when I question my decision to let my hair go gray. Would I feel younger with brown hair again? When I mentioned this to my beautician, she immediately shut down the idea. “I hope my hair looks like yours when I go gray,” she told me. And just yesterday, on a Zoom call, a woman commented that my hair was beautiful. She confessed that the only reason she hasn’t gone natural is because her gray doesn’t look as flattering.

It’s often said that men look “distinguished” with gray hair, while women simply look “older.” I find that deeply unfair, but it’s a belief that still lingers.

Some say going gray is an act of rebellion. Others see it as acceptance, or even bravery. Perhaps it’s all three. When celebrities like Jane Fonda went gray, many women felt it was a liberating invitation to do the same.

Maybe my next act of bravery will be following Pamela Anderson’s “no makeup” stance. As someone who never leaves the house without makeup, and who used to wear lipstick even on phone calls where no one could see me. I’m not sure I’m ready for that step just yet.

How about you? How do you feel about going gray?